


It's Not Romance

by SamCyberCat



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9646445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamCyberCat/pseuds/SamCyberCat
Summary: Haru and Makoto return to Iwatobi after their first year at university, ready to catch up with all of their friends. But a talk with Rin about how Haru still hasn't confessed his feelings for Makoto sends Haru spiralling as he tries to figure out if and how he should do just that.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TripCreates](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TripCreates/gifts).



> Written for FeelsandFandoms as part of the MakoHaru Valentines 2017 Exchange. Set about a year post-ES.

The more things changed the more they stayed the same. Quotes like that usually didn't mean much to Haru. He felt they were so lofty and metaphorical that people could force them into any situation they wanted. But right now he couldn't help but find there was some truth to it.

It'd been a whole year since Makoto and himself had left for Tokyo. And while there had been many changes for everyone during that time, coming back to Iwatobi made them all feel like they just fitted together again, as if no time had passed at all.

They'd all spent the afternoon at Haru's house on the first day back, just like they always used to. Nagisa, Rei, Gou, Makoto and himself. At one point they'd ordered pizza and although it wasn't Sasabe who delivered it any more, sitting around the table eating it together still brought back memories of old times.

Despite this, memories were far from the only topic of conversation. Now that Nagisa, Rei and Gou had all freshly graduated from Iwatobi themselves they had a lot to say, both about their future plans and what had happened during their final year. Most of the talking came from Nagisa, but the other two would also chime in often and sometimes even bicker with him, as if they'd formed some sort of comedy trio. And what they said sounded promising – there'd been a lot of interest in the swim club this year, it had now been handed over to a promising candidate, Rei and Gou had both gotten into the universities that they'd wanted and Nagisa had opted to do an apprenticeship instead of carrying on with his education. Their future plans seemed optimistic.

As well as themselves, they talked a little about Samezuka. Seemingly Nitori had proven to be a good captain and Samezuka had stayed close rivals with Iwatobi right up until the end. Since Nitori was graduating this year as well, Momotarou was taking over from him as captain for the next year.

At one point discussion turned to Rin, who hadn't quite finished his own training for the summer break yet. But soon enough he'd also be flying to Japan and on that day Gou wanted them all to meet him at the airport, with Sousuke joining them. Once everyone was back in the same place, they could arrange a reunion swimming match between the two old teams, to see how much they'd all improved in that time. For once, Haru found himself looking forward to such a competition. Perhaps Rin's attitude towards competing had gotten to him after all.

But as the evening went on and all immediate topics of conversation were exhausted, everyone began to grow tired. Makoto even fell asleep right there at the table and it took many warning hisses from Rei to stop Nagisa from purposely trying to wake him up.

“Maybe we should call it quits for tonight,” Gou suggested, “We can all meet up again tomorrow.”

“But what about Mako-chan?” Nagisa asked, with a pout.

“He can stay here. We're used to living together now anyway and his family were probably expecting him to stop over,” replied Haru.

“Okay then... I'll let sleeping beauty rest for now. But you gotta make sure he stays awake tomorrow, Haru-chan,” Nagisa insisted.

“I'm sure he will,” said Haru.

“Come of then, guys, I'll walk you home,” Nagisa announced, as he turned to look at Rei and Gou.

“What a gentleman,” chuckled Gou.

“Whatever would we do without him?” added Rei.

After that, the three of them bid Haru goodnight. He saw them to the door and then, once they were gone, collected up the plates that were littered around the table and went through to the kitchen to wash them. By the time he was done with that, it seemed that Makoto had woken himself up, lifting his head off the cushion it was lying on and blearily looking around the room.

“...Where is everyone...?” he murmured.

“They've gone home, but they said to tell you goodnight and that we can meet them tomorrow,” answered Haru, as he came back through from the kitchen.

“...Oh, that's good...” Makoto replied, stifling a yawn, “I hope they don't think it was rude that I nodded off.”

“You've had a long day and you're only human,” Haru dismissed.

“We're both only human,” Makoto pointedly replied.

“I'm fine,” said Haru.

“If you say so. Doesn't stop me from worrying though,” Makoto insisted.

“Then you worry too much. A lot has happened while we've been gone, but I feel that I'm... better prepared to handle change than I used to be,” Haru said, “It all seems like good change.”

“Glad to hear it. Honestly Haru, even you've changed more than you realise. A year ago you never would have talked about your feeling as much as you do now,” replied Makoto.

“Some things need to be said,” Haru stated.

It was true that Makoto and himself had a deep understanding. They could often read each other so well that in the past Haru had felt there was less need for words. But what he'd come to learn was that, even between the two of them, there would be misunderstandings. They could read each other wrong. So because of that, he now tried harder to talk about his feelings. That way Makoto would have less reason to worry.

Makoto got up and stretched. Then he fished around in his pocket for his mobile phone, flicking through his contacts to find his home number before he'd even asked Haru the question.

“So can I stay the night?” he checked.

“Sure,” answered Haru. He only needed one word to express his feelings for that one.

***

They'd gotten settled back into Iwatobi by the time that Rin joined them. Gou certainly had gone all out in making sure he had a big welcome committee. Of course there was Haru, Makoto, Rei and Nagisa, just like they'd agreed on their first night back, but as well as that Gou had been true to her word about getting Sousuke to join them, along with Nitori, the Mikoshiba brothers, Kisumi and Miss Amakata, who said that Coach Sasabe couldn't get the time off work to join them today. When Nagisa teasingly asked her how come she knew so much about him, Amakata had told him off, coming out with a vaguely-related proverb about nosiness. It did feel just like old times.

As Rin got out from the airport he was bombarded by so many people that Haru took a step back to let everyone else have a turn before him. Gou was the first one there, with Nagisa not being far behind. They both hugged Rin, while Rei apologised for Nagisa's boldness, although Rin just laughed it off. Once he was out of their grip, it was Nitori's turn to greet him and despite that he'd clearly grown in the last year, his nerves were still obvious. Momo slung an arm around his shoulder to boost his confidence, bragging to Rin about how well Nitori had done as the captain. After that, Sousuke and Rin shared a fistbump and a knowing smile with each other, undoubtedly going to catch up more later. Makoto, Kisumi, Amakata and Seijuro each gave much more casual greetings to Rin, though he could see that they were all glad to see him.

Haru watched this unfold like an outside observer, despite being close to them all. But they respected his distance and by the time Rin broke away from the group to talk to Haru, it seemed that everyone else was chatting amongst themselves.

“What, no hug from Haru?” Rin teased, as he walked over.

“Welcome back,” said Haru, not moving from where he stood.

“I hope you're livelier in the pool than you are right now,” said Rin, “I've got a full year of Olympic training under my belt and I won't be going easy on any of you.”

“Don't worry, I'll give you the match you want,” Haru promised, with a nod.

“Good, you better. But enough about that, how have you been since I last saw you? Tokyo treating you well?” Rin asked.

“I'm doing well. We both are,” replied Haru, with a nod towards Makoto, “It took some time for him to adjust to living away from his family and it took me some time to adjust to a more crowded city, but we've managed.”

Rin joined him in looking at Makoto, who was too distracted talking to Kisumi to notice them right now.

“I never doubted you guys,” he said, “And I was glad that you stuck together in the end. So how's it going... with the two of you?”

“I just told you,” Haru stated.

Rin barked out a laugh; “That's not what I meant! You know what I mean... don't you?” Then when Haru stared at him blankly, Rin shook his head and sighed, “...The two of you are hopeless.”

“No, we're not,” retorted Haru.

“Completely and utterly hopeless,” Rin spoke over him, “You'll probably be living together for the rest of your lives and never figure it out, not properly.”

“We're doing fine. We even... talk more now than we used to,” Haru said, hoping that this was what he needed to say to shut Rin up about the matter.

It wasn't.

“But you still haven't talked about... feelings and stuff?” asked Rin, “Aww man, I owe Kisumi money then. I was sure you two would have gotten together by the time I got back.”

“That's our business,” Haru huffed.

“Tell me I'm wrong though. Tell me that you've actually talked about this and I was right for believing in you,” pressed Rin.

“...No,” mumbled Haru.

“That's kind of a shame, but I guess you're right that I shouldn't pry. I bet you guys'll talk it over eventually though and you'll probably feel better for it. Maybe being back in Iwatobi is just what you both need,” reasoned Rin.

“Perhaps...” said Haru.

Thankfully, before Rin could debate the matter any further, he was called over by Momo to talk with him, Nitori, Sousuke and Seijuro – the Samezuka veterans. So Rin waved Haru off and headed over to them.

“You haven't heard the last of this,” Rin called, as he walked away.

“What was Rin going on about?” asked Makoto, as he joined Haru at his side.

“Nonsense,” dismissed Haru, with a shrug.

***

They drew quite a crowd for the rematch at ITSC Returns, despite it only being a friendly competition between some graduates. Sasabe must have put the word out, because the spectators seats were filled with a curious crowd. By one side of the pool, a younger swim class watched them, which included Kisumi's brother, Hayato. They were all eager to see how pros swam, Sasabe told them.

Haru could have lived without the extra eyes, but he was too caught up in the race to mind them today. And he had every reason to be excited for the prospect.

Even though both sides hadn't swam as a team for a year, save for a few practise runs, they fitted together again brilliantly. As Haru waited for his turn he was able to see that Nagisa, Rei, Momo and Nitori had all improved a lot through their own training, Sousuke's physical therapy seemed to be paying off, even if it meant he had to take it easier than before, and while Haru had seen Makoto swim a lot more regularly, it never failed to be an impressive sight.

When it came down to him and Rin, right away Rin pushed him to his absolute limited. Despite Haru having a slight head start on him, that didn't last long. And ultimately, though Haru tried his hardest, it was Rin who came out the victor.

“That was amazing!” Rin called, as he pulled off his goggles, “I missed this so much! Haru, you haven't slacked off at all. We're still pretty evenly matched, even if I won.”

“Next time it'll be different, Rin-chan! Just you wait!” called Nagisa.

The rest of them rushed over as the crowd cheered for Rin. Once they were out of the pool it was hugging and handshaking, with good spirits all around. Haru thought that, as well as seeing the race, it would do the young swim club good to see such a friendly attitude between rivals.

“When can we do this again? I've got all summer!” Momo cheered.

“Maybe next week, I don't want to push you guys too hard,” answered Rin.

“I'm fine...” muttered Sousuke, as if he knew that Rin was referring to him. It probably wasn't a wrong assumption either.

“Well, it'll give us more time for training,” said Rin, changing tactic, “If this is how good we do when we haven't been together for a while, I can only imagine what we'll be like by the end of the summer.”

“Then we'll all go our separate ways again...” Nitori mumbled.

“But we'll meet up again the next summer and the next and the next!” insisted Momo, “We'll never run out of summers!”

“Ah, well despite it being too optimistic to assume that we'll live forever, Momo has the right idea,” agreed Rei.

“Let's call it quits for today though. I reckon we've given this crowd enough to satisfy them at the moment,” Rin concluded.

After that, they all went to get changed and head off their separate ways. Nagisa, Rei, Gou, Nitori and Momo already had plans to help Rei's brother with some work in the afternoon. As the five of them walked away, talking cheerfully with each other, it was obvious to Haru that they'd gotten to be much closer friends over the last year.

“It's nice, isn't it?” Makoto hummed, as he and Haru watched them go, “I'm glad that everyone's doing well.”

But before Haru could answer, another voice called out.

“Hey, Haru, Makoto! Thought we might have missed you guys!” It was Rin, rushing over to join them, with Sousuke walking behind at a more leisurely pace; “Not got any plans, have you?”

“Not today,” Makoto admitted, “We were probably just going to go back to Haru's place.”

“Well now you've got better plans,” Rin announced, “You get to hang out with Sousuke and me.”

As Sousuke reached them, he raised an eyebrow at Haru and Haru did the same right back to him, both of them looking almost indifferent about the whole idea. On some levels, Sousuke and Haru were kindred spirits.

“That sounds great,” replied Makoto, oblivious to the disinterest of the other two, “What did you have in mind?”

“We were going to get something to eat, hit the karaoke and then maybe head out for a walk along the beach after, if we're up for it,” Rin told him, “And the more the merrier, right?”

“Sure! ...Um, is that okay, Haru?” Makoto checked, only now noticing Haru and Sousuke's glaring match.

“As long as we go somewhere that I can get mackerel,” Haru stated.

“And I can get pork,” added Sousuke.

“Gou told me that one of those world buffets has opened in town. We can probably keep everyone happy there,” answered Rin.

So just like that, Makoto and Haru had plans for the evening. A big part of Haru suspected that Rin might have an ulterior motive, especially after their talk at the airport about how Haru and Makoto haven't talked about... those kind of feelings. He could only hope that this wasn't part of another bet with Kisumi, because Haru didn't care much for the idea of his friends trying to predict his life in such a way.

However, most of the day went without a hitch. The buffet turned out to be just as good as Gou had said, with enough variety to keep all of their varied tastes happy. They were so full after leaving that it took them a while to get in the mood for karaoke, though Makoto and Rin were the first ones up there.

Makoto was shy about his singing, which was a shame, because one thing that everyone who'd heard him could agree on was that he was pretty decent at it. When he was hanging out with friends was the only time that Makoto would feel up to singing in public and Haru was happy to listen to him. He could have sat at their table all evening, listening to Makoto without a care in the world, but Rin had other ideas.

“Come on, Haru, don't leave me to do all the work!”

He bounded off the stage at the end of the song, grabbed Haru's arm and pulled him up from his seat before he could even argue that Sousuke, who also hadn't done any singing, wasn't getting the same treatment. When Rin shoved Haru towards the stage, Makoto seemed to get flustered.

“It's okay, you don't have to if you don't want to, Haru,” assured Makoto.

But Haru could read Makoto better than that and he knew the slight glimmer of hope in his eyes was telling a different story. He couldn't let Makoto down, so he took the microphone that Rin was holding out to him.

“Just one song,” Haru said.

“That's more like it!” called Rin, who then went back over to sit with Sousuke at the table.

The song was slow to start with, which was for the best, since it took both of them a while to build their confidence up. But Haru knew that it was going to get faster, so he needed to ready himself for that, especially if he was going to match Makoto. So he tried to focus only on the song, on the words that were coming out of his mouth, but it wasn't easy when right next to him Makoto was getting into it much faster. He found himself watching as Makoto belted out the words, while blue and purple lights from around the room beamed on and off him in a way that made him look... well, dazzling.

To Haru's horror, he realised that he now wasn't singing at all. Though fortunately Makoto noticed this before Rin could say anything. He reached over to put a comforting hand on Haru's shoulder, softening his own singing so that Haru had an opening to start again. As they looked into each other's eyes, Haru knew that Makoto believed in him and that he wouldn't let Makoto down. So, with that, he began again, this time managing to stick with it until the end of the song.

Once it was over, they kept looking at each other and Haru almost wanted to suggest that they try another, but now Rin had decided that it was his turn again.

“That was all right, but Sousuke and me are going to show you guys how it's done,” he boasted.

“I could do with a break,” admitted Makoto, “So far I've been up there since we started. But maybe later we can do another one, just me and you, Haru.”

“Yeah...” said Haru, as he tried to ebb his unwanted feelings of disappointment at not being able to do that right now.

The night went on and they all sang again so some degree. It took that first round with Rin to get Sousuke into it, but once they were done it opened the floodgates. The four of them sang together, Sousuke sang with Makoto, Rin sang with Haru, heck, even Haru and Sousuke did a duet, much to Rin's amusement. Yet Haru and Makoto didn't do another song after that, as much as Haru wanted to. Rin kept suggesting other combinations instead. It made Haru assume that he most likely wasn't trying to match-make them after all, because if he had been then surely he'd have wanted them to sing together.

Whatever Rin's reasons were (or if there were even any reasons to start with), Haru left the karaoke bar feeling mildly annoyed that he hadn't gotten the second chance on the stage with Makoto that he'd wanted.

“How about that walk on the beach then?” Makoto asked, once they were all back out in the open air.

“Sounds good to me,” said Rin, “It's a little later than I'd expected, but we could always walk the way back home for you guys, then Sousuke and me can double back.”

With that, the four of them were off. It was actually nice to be on the beach this late, Haru decided, because it meant that there weren't as many people around to bother them. Besides the odd dog-walker, they mostly had the beach to themselves.

Rin went on ahead, calling for Sousuke to go after him. Sousuke grumbled a little, but complied, leaving Haru and Makoto walking together, just like they always used to in the old days.

“I had fun tonight,” Haru admitted.

“I could tell,” replied Makoto, smiling over at him.

“And I'd like... to sing with you again. Just the two of us,” Haru went on.

“That... that would be nice,” said Makoto, looking away again, though he was still smiling.

***

Another week went by before either of them were able to make good on that promise. There was just too much else to do and it seemed that every free moment they had ended up being snatched away by an obligation to hang out with different ones of their friends. Not that either of them minded, since this trip was supposed to be about catching up with the others and they had all year for just the two of them. But even so, now that Haru had the idea in his mind that he wanted to sing with Makoto, it wasn't going to shift.

So on the day before they were all going to meet up for another race at ITSC Returns, the two of them finally managed to go back to the same karaoke bar together.

“You've been really insistent about this,” Makoto chuckled, as Haru got them a table.

“I just... want to practise,” Haru lied, “You're so much better than me.”

“Come on, I'm not that great,” dismissed Makoto.

“You're better than you realise...”

As Haru said that, Makoto turned to look at him. Neither of them knew quite what to say, but it seemed to have sparked a moment that needed to develop into... something. Like a... bigger moment, perhaps? This wasn't one of their usual meaningful silences. Makoto opened and closed his mouth a few times, while Haru didn't say anything else at all. In fact, he was regretting even coming out with such an unguarded comment in the first place-

“Haru-chan! Mako-chan! I can't believe you guys are here!”

The sudden appearance of Nagisa cut through the tension like a knife. Makoto broke away from looking at Haru instantly, stammering out what was probably meant to be a greeting as the two of them were approached.

It wasn't just Nagisa, of course. With him was Rei, Gou... and Rin. As Rin gave Haru a wink, suddenly the idea that he was planning something resurfaced in Haru's mind and he regretted that they hadn't gotten a private booth.

“We tried ringing your house, but we couldn't get an answer and Makoto didn't pick up his mobile either,” said Gou, “I guess we just missed you two. It was a last minute decision to come here. But since we all met up anyway it was probably meant to be.”

“And who's idea was it to do this?” Haru heard himself ask.

“My idea,” replied Rin, all but confirming Haru's suspicions, “I want us all to spend as much time together as we can before summer's over.”

“That's for the best. We'll regret it if we don't,” agreed Makoto. Although Haru noted that there was something a little more distant in his voice than usual.

But despite their initial surprise at being joined by the others, the evening went well. Haru couldn't quite shake that strange few seconds where he and Makoto had looked at each other, yet even so he tried not to let it affect him too much. They were all here and they were all having a good time.

Towards the middle of the evening, Haru and Makoto had another duet together, this one going much better than the one from the previous time. There were no breaks in Haru's vocals and he managed to keep pace with Makoto, even during the louder and faster parts of the song. Once they were done, the others roared with approval. Clapping and demanding an encore, which had to mean it had gone well.

And yet... it didn't satisfy Haru. Whatever had been started on that day, it wasn't a singing duet with Makoto that was going to end the feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Finding that out just frustrated Haru even more.

***

It was... electricity.

...Or was it longing? It could have been longing, maybe.

There was a good chance that it was both and yet... Haru had experienced both of those in the past, but he'd never experienced anything like this before. This was either something entirely new or an irritating combination of a lot of old feelings.

He very nearly called off the race the next day, because he didn't feel that he could get his head into it enough to do well, not with all these distractions on his mind. But he knew that if he did that then the others would worry.

Especially Makoto.

As Makoto's face popped into his mind once more, Haru buried his head into his pillow and made a fruitless attempt to block it out.

He wasn't as naïve as Rin might assume – it had crossed his mind that Makoto and himself have feelings for each other. For years he'd just believed that eventually, when the time was right, they'd both cross that bridge and talk about it. After all, they were both patient people and neither of them were in a hurry.

And yet now suddenly it felt as if Haru was in a hurry... like he needed to have that moment with Makoto, just the two of them, and he had no idea what he would do when it came about.

After all this time, all the waiting, what could he, Haru, do that was good enough to show his feelings to Makoto? Any gesture seemed either too small or not like them at all. Neither of them were grand, sweeping sort of people. But maybe something like this needed to be grand? Haru had no idea...

That thought stayed on his mind up until he'd reached the pool. Although it seemed that the universe had decided to give him a saving grace in the form of the misfortune of others.

“You're kidding me, right?” Rin said flatly, as he stared across at Nitori and Rei, “How could they both have gotten sick on the same day?”

“Well, they were both eating the same... ah, I'm reluctant to call it a cake, but that's probably the closest word in the dictionary to describe what it was,” replied Rei.

“We warned them not to. No good comes from tasting uncooked batter, with all those raw eggs in... Ugh! But they didn't listen,” Nitori added, “I'm sorry, but it doesn't look like we can't have a relay today...”

“It's not your fault, Ai. Maybe this will teach the two of them a lesson,” Rin said, with a sigh, “Though if I know Nagisa and food then it probably won't.”

“I'll make sure his lesson is well and truly learned,” Rei vowed, ominously.

“Which means he's going to nag him to death,” translated Gou, “It's down to you to deal with Momo though, Nitori.”

“Don't I know it...” muttered Nitori.

“We shouldn't let this get us down though,” Makoto said, ever the voice of reason, “We're all here, so we should all swim together anyway. Maybe even have some one-on-one races.”

“I like the sound of that,” agreed Rin.

It might not have been what they'd set out to do, but even so, getting a chance to casually swim with some of the others was nice as well. It enabled them to have match-ups that they wouldn't normally have, as well as try different strokes. Though Haru stubbornly stuck to freestyle, as he always did, no one pulled him up about it.

He'd just finished a race against Rei and was taking a break to let Rin and Nitori use that lane, when a familiar mop of pink hair caught his eye.

Haru hadn't seen Kisumi at all since they'd all gone to meet Rin at the airport. There'd been a few times when the group had tried to arrange for him to come out with them, but since Kisumi didn't live as close by, it wasn't as easy for him to make it. Because Haru had always had... mixed, mixed feelings about Kisumi, he hadn't pressed the issue too much when he couldn't go.

And yet here he was right now, bringing Hayato to meet some friends the pool, from the look of it. When he noticed Haru was watching him, Kisumi waved, though he didn't come any closer to the water, seeing as he was still fully dressed. So Haru climbed out and walked over, not caring that he was dripping on the floor as he went. It was, after all, a pool.

“Haru, hey!” Kisumi greeted, “I was just dropping Hayato off. Didn't expect to see you guys here today.”

“We were going to have another relay race, but Nagisa and Momo are ill,” Haru informed.

“Aww, that's a shame. I hope they feel better soon,” replied Kisumi.

That was when Haru decided not to beat about the bush and just get to the point. He stared at Kisumi with enough force behind his eyes that it made Kisumi back off a little.

“Kisumi, you know about feelings, don't you?” Haru asked.

“I... um, I guess?” Kisumi replied, suddenly looking worried that Haru was going to confess something to him, “Why do you want to know?”

“Because I need to talk to someone about them and I want it to be an expert,” Haru said.

“Sure, I can... offer any advice that I'm able to. If it's about romance, then you know Rin's good at that sort of thing as well, right?” Kisumi checked,

“I can't talk to Rin about this,” assured Haru, “In fact, I'm not even sure if I should ask you, since I heard that you and Rin betted over it, but I don't have many other options.”

Kisumi's eyes lit up; “Oh, so this is about Makoto! Look, I'm sorry about that whole bet thing, but it was mostly a joke. We just got talking about you two because... well, everyone's curious about if you'll hook up one day.”

“...They are?” Haru gaped.

“Yeah, sure they are,” Kisumi answered, now seeming a little awkward to have been the bearer of that news, “We even used to joke about it back in middle school, but as time went on everyone started to wonder for real. Heck, a while back Rin even assumed you two were already together and you just didn't talk about it.”

“Did you think that?” asked Haru.

“Nah, for some reason I always felt that you hadn't gotten together yet. But are you thinking about it?” said Kisumi.

Haru took a deep breath. There was no point in lying.

“...Yes. I would like to ask Makoto if... if he wants to,” Haru confessed.

“I'm pretty damn certain he'll be interested!” Kisumi replied.

“Not so loud...” Haru scolded, though as he looked back out over the pool, it was apparent that Makoto was distracted with getting ready for a race against Sousuke, “...The problem is that I don't know how to go about asking him. Nothing seems good enough.”

“That's so sweet! It shows how much you care about him,” gushed Kisumi.

“Can you help me or not?” Haru demanded.

“Sure, I could help you. Though honestly I doubt anyone knows Makoto as well as you do, so maybe my suggestions won't even be as good as yours,” said Kisumi.

“I might know Makoto, but I don't know romance,” Haru pressed.

“Yeah, but romance is mostly just a fancy word to make people uncomfortable,” Kisumi dismissed, “It's there to make you think that nothing you can do will be good enough. I bet that's what you're feeling right now, yeah? From my experiences, real romantic gestures aren't about going above and beyond both of you – it's the opposite of that. Do something that feels right for the both of you, even if it's small, that way it'll come from the heart instead of you trying to do something that doesn't feel like you.”

“That... sounds good,” replied Haru, even if he wasn't sure he fully grasped it.

“Eh, when I put it that way I think it sounds like a bad agony aunt column,” said Kisumi, with a bat of his hand, “But it brings me back to what I was saying before – you know Makoto better than anyone, probably. So don't think about what romance wants, think about what Makoto wants.”

“I guess I can do that... Thanks, Kisumi...” Haru said.

“You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna head off before Rin tries to drag me into the pool with the rest of you,” Kisumi replied.

“Why don't you try swimming sometime?” asked Haru, now that they'd finished their confusing talk about feelings.

“Why don't you try basketball sometime?” Kisumi countered.

“Fair point,” Haru concluded.

He let Kisumi head off after that. From what Haru could tell, one of Hayato's friend's parents was going to look after Hayato today, so Kisumi didn't need to hang around and would just come back to pick him up later. Whatever Kisumi was going to do with his spare time was a question that Haru knew he wouldn't find out the answer to and that was probably for the best. Even so, his brief visit hadn't gone unnoticed by the others.

“I'm guessing he didn't want to swim, but it's a shame he didn't come over to say hi,” Makoto said, once Haru rejoined him. He had finished his race against Sousuke before Haru had finished talking to Kisumi; “...Even so, I'm glad the two of you were talking. You've been stubborn about Kisumi for a while.”

“I haven't,” retorted Haru, knowing full well that he had.

“If you say so,” Makoto chuckled, “So what were you talking about anyway?”

“This and that,” replied Haru.

“Come on, don't be that way,” Makoto pressed.

“It's the only way I know how to be,” Haru insisted.

“I suppose so. And I wouldn't change you for the world, even if you can be annoying at times, Haru-chan,” hummed Makoto.

He reached over and ruffled up Haru's hair affectionately, which made Haru gasp with indignation. And yet somehow... he didn't mind the gesture. He didn't move away. Makoto stroking his hair like that felt nice, though it'd be too weird for him to admit that.

“Enough with the -chan,” he grumbled. Because it wouldn't be him if he let that one off.

***

Part of Haru wished that Kisumi's advice had been more direct. Like saying they should go have a meal at a fancy restaurant or see a movie together or something to that effect. But the more Haru thought about it, the more he realised advice like that wouldn't have been sincere. There was little point in going to a restaurant when Haru himself could already cook all of Makoto's favourite foods, cheaper and (by his own admission) better than anywhere around here could. Plus, they didn't have to get dressed up to eat at home and Haru knew that Makoto was secretly found smart suits almost as annoying as Haru did. As for going to see a movie, well, the two of them did that all the time as friends anyway. There were so many stereotypical 'date' ideas that Haru realised were just things that they'd always done as friends.

But... maybe that wasn't a bad thing. It brought him back to Kisumi's words. Even if they hadn't told him exactly what to do, they also weren't wrong either. Haru did know Makoto very well. And if romance was just a fancy concept that differed from person to person, then knowing the person had to be a good start, right?

Yet even so, he still had no idea what he could do. How he could even broach a topic that was now constantly on his mind. If he knew Makoto so well then how come he didn't know what to do about this?

The matter plagued him for a long time after that day at the pool. And he decided that until he'd figured out what the best thing he could do was, it'd be better to keep to himself. After all, with so much uncertainty in the air, he'd be bound to mess up if he tried talking to Makoto right now.

...Oh, the phone was ringing.

Rin sounded surprised when Haru actually answered. Which struck Haru as odd, because why call someone if you don't expect them to answer? Though on the other hand, Haru was notorious for never answering phones.

“Hey, glad I could catch you,” Rin said, “We're going to the aquarium today; do you want to come? I already asked Makoto and he's coming, but he said that he hadn't called on you yet.”

A day out, with Makoto... The aquarium would be nice, but... what if Haru messed it up? What if he blurted out the wrong thing and ruined the day for everyone? He couldn't risk that.

“Sorry, but I can't come today,” he replied, “I'm... waiting in for a call from my parents and they wouldn't forgive me if I missed it.”

“Oh, so that's why you answered the phone! I thought it wasn't like you,” said Rin, having bought Haru's lie, “That's fine. It's kind of a shame that you can't come, but I bet it's been forever since you talked with your folks, so I wouldn't take that away from you. Hope it goes well.”

“Yeah, me too...” mumbled Haru, now instantly feeling bad for the lie, given how sincere Rin's reaction was.

“We can always go together another time,” Rin assured, “I'll call Makoto and let him know.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” said Haru.

After that, Haru didn't hear from any of the others, not even Makoto, for the rest of the day. The excuse had worked a little too well and Haru dreaded the follow-up.

***

Rin's mouth was far too big for it's own good, Haru decided, as he received a call from Rei the next morning. He cursed himself for choosing now of all times to develop the ability to answer phones. It made no sense, after a lifetime of wilfully ignoring them. But then he supposed that, amidst all the worry about talking to Makoto, he was secretly hoping to talk to Makoto.

“So how did it go?” Rei asked, “Most of the others said that they'd never even seen your parents before, except for Makoto and Rin, of course. So it must have been a big deal for you to hear from them.”

Haru decided that it was best to nip this in the bud.

“They couldn't make the call yesterday,” he said, “Don't worry, I'm sure they'll try again another time.”

“That's such a shame... If you'd known that then you could have come with us after all,” Rei replied, “It was a nice day out, but it just wasn't the same to not have all of us there. And Makoto seemed a little lost without you.”

“I promise I'll come next time,” said Haru.

But that ended up being another lie. When Gou text him the next day, to see if he wanted to come to a barbecue Sasabe was holding on the beach, Haru made another excuse not to come. And then another when Rei invited him to come check on Nagisa with him. The excuses kept coming and eventually Haru wasn't sure they were remotely believable.

The message that he wanted to be left alone, however, was soon enough received. The calls stopped. The texts stopped. The invitations stopped.

He had all the time in the world to think about what he was going to do for Makoto to impress him. Or even what he could say to him when they finally talked about their feelings. And yet, he still had no idea where to start...

***

It'd now been almost a full week since Haru had started avoiding the others. The water helped him think, Haru knew, so he was lying in the bath, asking for the answer to come to him. But the silence didn't help at all. It mingled with Kisumi's advice and seemed to pluck everything he thought he knew about Makoto out of his mind.

This should have been easy. So, so easy... They knew each other better than anyone, knew their feelings better than anyone. Haru could list all of Makoto's interests, likes, dislikes... everything, without even trying and probably run out of paper to write them on before he was done. And yet... for this, Haru had nothing.

Maybe it was time to accept that the reason he didn't know how to do this was because it wasn't meant to be done...

He was jerked out of those thoughts by a firm knock on the door. One that he was more than familiar with, even if it did make the bottom of his stomach feel as if it was going to drop out in this situation. And before he'd finished counting to five, Makoto had let himself into the house. So Haru waited for him, his eyes sticking out over the top of the water as he stared at the door.

“Haru...? Are you in here?” called Makoto, before he invited himself into the bathroom and sighed at the sight, “...Who am I kidding, where else would you be?”

At that, Haru pulled his face up out of the water, though the rest of him remained submerged.

“Are you disappointed in me?” It wasn't a usual question.

“What? No, of course I'm not,” Makoto replied, looking at Haru with total confusion, “I've just been... worried about you lately.”

“You have...?” Haru asked.

“Yeah. Maybe you haven't realised it, but you've been distant for a little while now. And I don't just mean your avoiding us for the last few days, though that's been worrying me, too. But I mean that... when we've been together, you've had that look in your eyes, like you're reaching for something that's beyond you, just like how you used to look back when... well, that doesn't matter,” Makoto said. He came over and perched on the edge of the bath, “What matters is that I can see you're hurting and I don't know why. At first I thought that maybe it was all the changes with everyone that was bothering you, but you seem fine about that. And when I try to think back to when it started, it kind of feels like it was... at karaoke. The second time. You were so keen to go, but then it was like... something went wrong. Did I... do something wrong...?”

“Not everything is your fault,” Haru told him, now sitting up properly to look across at Makoto.

They maintained eye contact, each as stubborn as the other. In this, Makoto didn't back down and Haru could feel that there was fire behind his expression. Concern and... and anger, mixed together. The combination made Haru shudder a little out of anticipation. He cursed himself for that.

“Then give me something to go on,” Makoto prompted, not breaking the gaze, “If it's not my fault, then what is it? And don't say nothing. I know it's something.”

There truly was no getting away from his feelings with Makoto. It was a two-way street. Of course he'd spent all this time noticing Haru's uncertainty. Haru was stupid to have not considered that.

“It's... it's you...” Haru admitted.

“I knew it! I knew I'd done something to upset you!” Makoto gasped, “Please, just tell me what I did wrong and I'll-”

“You haven't done anything wrong,” Haru cut in, “What's been bothering me is... it's about us.”

“Us...?” echoed Makoto, “You mean us being friends...? Oh no, I had worried, but... Haru, l-look... that night at the karaoke bar, when I looked at you... I didn't mean to make you feel weird. I-I have... h-have complicated feelings for you, but... I never wanted it to get in the way of our friendship. If you're... um, b-bothered by it then I can... I can go...”

He got up off the edge of the bath, but Haru reached forward to grab his arm. Right now he didn't even care that he was getting Makoto's sleeve wet, it wouldn't be the first time. What was important was that Makoto didn't go.

“You felt it too...! Of course you did,” Haru gasped, “I wanted to... to talk to you about it, but I didn't know how... I don't want you to go...”

Makoto turned to look at him and Haru let go of his arm, lowering himself back into the water. At least Makoto wasn't trying to leave now.

“I should have come to you sooner,” mumbled Makoto, running a hand through his hair. He let out a loud sigh before he went on, “...But I didn't know how you'd take it.”

“I know that you like me. I've always known,” said Haru, suddenly realising that it was true.

“Then why didn't you say anything?” Makoto asked, “Did you pity me?”

“No, of course not... I just didn't know how to say it. Nothing seemed good enough,” Haru confessed, “For a long time I just thought that... we'd get around to it one day. But after that night I suddenly felt like I needed to tell you soon, even though I don't know why that one moment was what made it feel so important. And I felt like I didn't know how to say it or how you'd feel about me leaving it for this long. That maybe you'd think I didn't care...”

Now that it was out in the open, Haru was sure that this had been his issue all along. That it was fear. All those thoughts about being bad at romance were just a way to distract himself from the real problem.

“I'd never think you didn't care,” Makoto promised.

Haru looked up at him; “...You said you were worried that if I knew about your feelings, then I wouldn't want to be friends with you any more. Well, how do you think I feel about you? Be honest.”

“I think that you... you...” Makoto hesitated, but then seemed to find himself and pressed on, “...I think that you feel the same way about me as I do about you. And that I've known that for a long time as well. But it was always just... easier to leave it for another time. Heh... We're both as bad as each other, aren't we?”

“Yes,” replied Haru, despite knowing that it had been a rhetorical question.

“I mean really, did I think that just one day I'd transform into a more confident Makoto who could just sweep you off your feet without any effort? What was I waiting for?” Makoto continued.

“You do that all the time, you just don't see it,” Haru replied.

Makoto looked at him, really looked at him, and saw that Haru meant that. They both stayed silent, not knowing how to feel and certainly not knowing what to say. But then it was Makoto who broke away, swearing loudly. The surprise of that caught Haru off-guard and his eyes widened.

“...Ugh, this is exactly like what happened at the karaoke bar,” grumbled Makoto. Then he pointed an accusatory finger at Haru, “It was you! It was you back then and it's you now. You're too much of a charmer, Haru, and I just don't know how to deal with it.”

Haru snorted, “I'm the least charming person in the world.”

“Well, I think I'm the least confident person in the world and yet you seem to see otherwise,” Makoto countered, “So if I want to say that you're charming then just let me have that, okay?”

“You're being confident right now, with all your insisting,” Haru pointed out.

“And you're being charming!” spat Makoto.

“How?”

“I don't know! But you are!”

There was another silence, of a different kind to the one before. Then it was Haru who started to laugh first. Makoto soon followed. They laughed at each other for perhaps longer than was okay, considering that this was supposed to be a confession of sorts, but once it was over they'd cleared the air.

“...What are we?” Makoto asked, once he'd finally finished.

That was a question with no certain answer. They were friends, Haru knew that much. But they also both had these other feelings for each other, a love filled with the spark of attraction, and they both knew it. But that didn't make them a couple, did it? They still had to walk further down that road before they would be. Which left them somewhere that Haru wasn't sure he had a word for. He didn't know what they were in such terms, if he had to pin it down to one thing, between all of what was and all of what could be.

In the end, he decided that he only had one answer that he knew for definite.

“We're Makoto and Haru,” he replied, with confidence.

***

The end of the third week saw Nagisa and Momo having fully recovered to rejoin them at the ITSC Returns. It was the first time that Haru had seen them since before they'd fallen ill, which was a point that Nagisa made sure to emphasise.

“It was so awful that you guys didn't come check up on me! I had to get Rei-chan to visit twice as much to make up for it,” he huffed.

“We didn't want to catch anything,” Haru teased.

“You can't catch salmonella!” Nagisa wailed.

“We're sorry, Nagisa. We did mean to visit you, but something came up and we just got distracted,” assured Makoto, “We'll make it up to you somehow, I promise.”

“If Haru-chan makes me a delicious cake then we can call it even. And he should probably make Momo-chan one as well, for good measure. Okay, Haru-chan?” said Nagisa.

“Fine, but no eating the mixture,” Haru replied.

“You guys were too busy to come out when I called as well,” Rin added, “First just Haru wouldn't come, but then Makoto wouldn't either. Something we should know about?”

“Nothing,” Haru said, a little too quickly. He cursed himself when Rin grinned in response to that.

“We just wanted to spend some time as... just the two of us,” Makoto elaborated, “It's not that we didn't want to see you all, but sometimes just us is nice as well...”

“I see,” Rin hummed, expression remaining just as smug.

“We came here to swim, not to gossip,” Sousuke reminded him. And Haru was silently grateful to him for that interruption.

“Fine, you're right,” sighed Rin, “But once this is over, we're totally going to all go for lunch somewhere so Haru and Makoto can tell us all about their new-found love life.”

“Oh, come on!” Makoto replied, “You don't know it's anything like that!”

“Then is it... not like that?” Rin pressed.

Makoto stammered, “...W-well... it's... um, I mean...”

“It's not like that,” answered Haru, “Nothing about our love life is new-found.”

“Haru!” Makoto cried.

“Ooh, I knew it...” Gou whispered, as they all pressed in around Haru, eager to know more.

“That's not what you said at the airport,” reminded Rin.

“What did you say at the airport?” Makoto checked.

“Just that we hadn't talked about it, which we hadn't,” said Haru, “But once we did talk about it, we agreed that we'd always known.”

“That's so romantic...” Nitori murmured.

“That's so like them,” Rin corrected, with a roll of his eyes, “But seriously, I'm glad for you both. Now we can all stop wondering when you're going to get together and I can stop losing money to Kisumi over it.”

“You... bet over us?” Makoto gaped, clearly scandalised.

“Yeah, and I have to say that you two haven't been my winning horses so far,” said Rin, “I was sure you'd get together in your first year of uni and he was sure you'd get together in your second or third year. So what do you do? You go and get together during the summer holidays! Who takes the money in that case?”

“You should both have the money confiscated,” grumbled Haru.

“Yeah, probably. Look, I am sorry. It wasn't like a serious bet or anything, we were just curious,” Rin admitted, “I've known you two almost as long as you've known each other and when I see you floundering around, not knowing how to tell each other what's so obvious, it makes me sad. I want you both to be happy.”

“We are happy,” said Haru. He assured that fact with a very definite frown.

“Well... good. I'm glad, I really am,” Rin said, “And I hope it works out well for you guys. Heck, I bet we all do.”

There was a general cheer of agreement throughout the rest of the group, save for Sousuke, who looked unperturbed by the whole thing. Haru could tell that the attention was getting to Makoto though, whose ears were burning red, so he decided it was best to move on.

“We should get indoors before Sasabe comes to fetch us,” he suggested.

“Sounds good! But we seriously should go get lunch afterwards, I'll be starving by then,” Momo replied, receiving a thumbs up from Nagisa for saying so.

“That is... if these two want to go with us instead of heading off to be romantic somewhere,” teased Rin.

Having come to terms with Makoto, their situation and what Kisumi had said about it, Haru knew the answer to that one.

“We're not romantic,” he said, as he took Makoto's hand and smiled at them all, “We're Makoto and Haru.”


End file.
